Subject: Detention Has Been Assigned

Dear Students,

This letter is to inform you that you have been assigned detention due to ongoing concerns related to your academic performance and inability to Jack. Frankly, I’m disgusted. We were rooting for you. We were all rooting for you…

Specifically, our records indicate that students have been seen committing the following infractions:

Engaging in a reckless situationship(s) with an on-duty DJ(s), blurring the sacred boundary between faculty and fantasy.
Making multiple unsolicited song requests, including, but not limited to DaRude, Tiesto, and the Venga Boys, resulting in disorientation and offense to the selector(s).
Failing to maintain — physically, emotionally, and metaphysically.
Struggling to locate the beat, despite generous BPM cues.
Ghostlisting… No email, no text, no explanation….
Conversing loudly on the dance floor during peak coursework hours.

Accordingly, the WGPR Board of Education and Principal P.F. Moods present the New Dance School, your remedial course in proper party behaviors!

📅 Saturday, September 20, 2025
📍 Location: TBA · Detroit, MI
⏰ Time: 10 PM – until we dismiss you

📞 Students must call the office at 313-403-5931 before reporting, as the detention location is subject to change. Failure to report will result in your expulsion.

We have hired the following faculty to provide you with a positive education:
Leading the Department of Advanced b2b Studies + Relational Chaos: Professor Carlos Souffront b2b Professor Centrific (SF x MPLS)
Two mythic selectors who haven’t shared a syllabus since the last time time stopped (read: never). Is it a class? Is it a ritual? Is it sonic warfare? No one’s quite sure, not even our professors.

Heading the Department of Rhythm Studies + Somatic Recalibration: Dr. Nita Aviance, PhD (NYC)
The library is open. Come prepared to read and be read. Don’t make us spell it out!

Adjunct Faculty Detroit Bureau of Sound (DET) has been left in charge of the Department of Environmental Noise, Surveillance + Feeling Nothing.
No syllabus. No slides. No mercy.

Enrollment for the New Dance School is now open. If you have any questions or believe this detention was issued in error, too bad!

See you in detention, sweetie 💋

–– Principal P.F. Moods

Flier by Mr. Gizmoe.

purefastmoods productions

2025

2026

mixes

Ritual Rave January 31, 2026 TBA, Detroit, MI

Ritual Rave
January 31, 2026
TBA, Detroit, MI